How to stop trying to get followers and get real friends
Getting 'likes', 'followers' and 'views' is often how the twenty first century describes success.We crave to be known and we crave to be loved. This is often expressed in a deep longing and desire for people to like, follow or view what we do on social media. At the moment of writing this blog I’m currently sitting on 999 followers on instagram, one more and I have 1000 followers. If I’m honest with you there have been times where my follower count has been where I’ve found my identity. I’d often feel happy when I saw the orange notification saying I had gained a follower and feel upset when I saw my follower count go down. So I thought I’d share some honest thoughts around social media and friendships.
Will they accept me?
"Will they accept me?" is a question we've all asked at times. There is something inside all of us that seeks the approval of others. We want to be accepted, loved and appreciated by the people around us. However, its crucial that we don’t put our value and identity in our follower count, popularity and what people say or think about us.
As we watch our following increase and as we gain a bigger social media platform there is still a void in our hearts. Jesus is the only one who satisfies. He is who we should find our value and identity in. Whether you have one or ten thousand followers Jesus loves you the same. This is a great reminder that we can put our confidence in Christ. Decide what you'll stand for, the person you want to be and understand that people will fail you but Jesus never will!
Unfortunately many people are prepared to compromise their values to be accepted. There’s a difference between being a person with a good reputation and character and being a person prepared to compromise character and standards in order to be accepted by others. Let your social media accounts reflect your heart, purpose and standards. For me I want to be known as a Jesus follower, great husband and a good friend. So I try and show that through what I post online. At the end of the day if people don’t like what I post, say or do that’s totally cool, I know my position in Christ.
Fill your life by creating memories with quality friends. Laugh together and have heaps of fun! Be secure in who you are and what makes you, you! There’s no need to impress everyone. Everyone doesn’t have to like you. Stop refreshing your notifications feed to see if you have more likes and start living your life with those around.
The crowd flees but real friends stay.
When you are facing those tough and terrible moments in life the crowd is no where to be seen. That large follower count you’ve gained will be no where to be seen when you go through challenges in life. Life is not always easy and is often full of challenges. Real friends are with us in the good days but remain in the bad days! Fake friends are with us in our good times but flee when opposition comes your way.
Be intentional about surrounding yourself with real friends. People who will stand with you, support you and do life with you. It’s very easy for a crowd to be at one moment praising you and at the next moment booing you. If the crowd is the only thing we have we are in a dangerous place!
Can I ask you a question? How would you feel if you refreshed your social media feeds and all your followers had unfollowed you? Would you be ok? I know most of us would say, “Yeah of course I would!” But would you really be ok with that? I think every day we have to ask ourselves this question. The crowd can turn on you at any moment but Jesus will never leave or forsake you.
Looking back over my life all my toughest memories include people. I’m thankful I had real friends who stood with me through the toughest moments of life. It may be cool to be the most popular person in school but that popularity means very little in hardship. True wealth is found in rich relationships.
Build your life upon Jesus
It would be very easy to build our lives upon our social media accounts. Living to please people through what we post and the life we portray. This is not a wise way to live out our lives. At any moment all the “success” by the worlds standards could be taken away from us. Trying to gain the approval of people online can be exhausting.
Jesus is the only strong foundation. We must build our lives upon Him. Build depth in our relationship with Him. Follow Him in everything that we do. In the good times and in the bad times He does not leave us.
Finally, social media is awesome! I want to get as many followers as possible online. The reason being, I want to be a voice encouraging people to follow Jesus. In a world full of negativity I want to be someone who brings hope and joy. My prayer is that my life would not being about making Josh Bull’s name known but rather that Jesus would get all the glory with my life! So I’m not building my life upon getting likes or followers but upon Jesus!