Why I saved sex for marriage
It feels like everywhere we turn there is something pointing to sex. The songs we hear, the advertisements we see, the movies we watch and the conversation we have. Sex is everywhere and in our current culture I feel that the value placed on sex has decreased. Sex is just an act rather than something special and intimate. Virginity is viewed more as a disease to get rid of rather than something to be proud of.
Culture told me as a teenager to lose my virginity as quickly as possible but I made a decision that I wanted to save sex for marriage. Virginity is treated like a disease that needs to be lost as quickly as possible. I am proud however to say that I remained a virgin until my wedding day. Remaining a virgin would not have been possible without the grace of God, I'm hopeless without Jesus!
This article is going to go against popular opinion. It's my hope to encourage people through this article that virginity is not a disease but something to be treasured and saving sex for marriage is the best.
BE PROUD OF YOUR VIRGINITY
Tayla and I were both virgins until we got married. People would find it so strange that we weren’t sleeping together before our wedding night. Culture seem to shame viriginity and we definitely felt that. Despite the shock and shame that was directed towards us we knew it was actually something to be proud of and that it was God's design for us to live this way. It wasn’t easy but it was definitely worth it! The reason we saved sex for marriage was because it was a personal conviction for the both of us. The world told us we were crazy yet we trusted Jesus' plan and design.
If we place value on something we are prepared to pay a price for it. We both valued saving sex for marriage therefore the price we paid was no sex before marriage. Now that we are married we are seeing the benefits of saving sex for marriage.
People would ask us, "What if you aren’t sexually comparable?" (what does that even mean?) My rebuttal to that was, "How would we know any different if we aren’t sleeping around with other people?" Sex with Tayla is the best sex I've ever had (she's the only person I've had sex with). You don’t need to try before you buy when it comes to marriage and relationships.
We saved sex for marriage because it’s biblical. There are no grey areas in this, we are called to have sex only within marriage. Did it always make sense to us? No? Did we trust Jesus over ourselves? Yes. I don’t think God wants us to save sex for marriage just so that there would be a bunch of sexually frustrated Christians roaming the earth. There's a purpose behind it and a greater plan. Keep trusting Jesus and believing for His grace to stand firm waiting for marriage to have sex.
Since marrying each other and having sex it's hard to imagine having sex with multiple people. It’s extremely intimate and you are very vulnerable. Sex within marriage is safe and you are in a covenant agreement were death do us part is the only option of leaving. Having sex with someone is giving part of yourself to someone that you can’t get back. In hindsight it was so worth the wait. We don’t have baggage from multiple relationship.
SEX ISN’T GROSS IT’S GREAT.
As Christian’s I think it’s important that we don’t view sex as something gross but view it as something great. Sadly there are some Christians who view sex as something gross and dirty. God created sex. Sex is great!
When I was a teenager I used to hear some preachers say, "Sex is amazing, I LOVE sex but you can’t have it - HAHA!” Man how is that supposed to help me? It’s my hope as a leader of young people to encourage them in their good fight to wait and encourage them that it’s worth the wait. I know what it’s like young man to have sex on your mind all the time. The desire rages within us but we must keep up the good fight of faith. Stand strong in your convictions. Rely upon the grace of God and look to Him for help!
Sex is great but within the right context. The right context for sex to take place is within marriage. Sex outside of marriage may feel great in the moment but sex was created to be enjoyed within the safety, security and freedom of marriage. You can hop from one person to the next, having sex like a rabbit or you can understand that the creator of sex (God) has an incredible plan for you to enjoy sex within marriage.
The other day I purchased a brand new denim jacket that I love! I want to wear it so bad right now but wearing it in this Australian summer heat right now would be a bad idea! I'd get hot, sweaty, smelly and did I mention smelly? It would just look weird for me to be walking around in a denim jacket on a 35 degree day. It’s just the wrong context to be wearing it but in a few weeks when I'm in New York and it's freezing cold it will be the perfect context. It's the same with sex, you could have sex outside of marriage but it's the wrong context however sex within marriage is God's design, plan and is just awesome! It's worth the wait to save sex for marriage trust me.
ENJOY THE SEASON YOU ARE IN.
My encouragement to a single person would be to enjoy being single! Honestly being single is awesome. Enjoy the single life, hang with your friends, make memories. I understand being in a relationship is the social thing to do but honestly there are so many benefits to being single. While being single prepare yourself to one day be the best partner you could possibly be. Get lost in God, grow in relationship with him and at just the right time you will find an incredible person to be in a relationship with. Don’t rush into a relationship.
My encouragement to someone in a relationship/engaged would be to keep looking to Jesus. Being in a relationship is great but it’s crucial to keep looking to Jesus for help. The temptation to fool around is real, flee from it. Allow people to speak into your relationship. Be clear from the outset that you are going to save sex for marriage. Have no confidence in you and all confidence in Jesus.
You may have already had sex or fooled around now hear me when I say this that your sin does not disqualify you from receiving His grace and forgiveness. Where sin abounds grace super abounds. I'm thankful that our efforts don't make Jesus love us. He demonstrated his love for us WHILE we were still sinners. All we have to do is come to Him and repent. All that means is to turn. Turn to His grace my friend. He makes all things new. Start fresh and trust in Jesus!
IN CONCLUSION REMEMBER: BE PROUD OF YOUR VIRGINITY, SEX IS GREAT NOT GROSS AND EMBRACE THE SEASON YOU ARE IN!
Question: Are you a virgin and what has been your experience of growing up as a virgin in today's culture? Comment your answer below.