What's the danger of sending sexual pictures?
Revenge porn is a new normal of the world we live in. With the ability to share pretty much any content we want through social media within seconds brings with it many challenges and one of the major challenges that society faces today is revenge porn. Scandals keep arising surrounding high profile people and revenge porn. High schools are rampant with dramas associated with revenge porn. People have suicided because of revenge porn. This is a harsh reality of current culture.
If you are unaware of what revenge porn is, it’s the sexually explicit portrayal of one or more people distributed without their consent via any medium. Basically what happens is two people may be in a relationship, one sends sexually explicit pictures to the other, the person on the receiving end keeps the pictures. The relationship may later turn south, break up and out of revenge the person holding the pictures distributes the pictures to the world. Exposing something very private which was given to them in confidence and trust. This is not the only way revenge porn takes place but would be the predominate method. So I thought I’d write a couple thoughts to young people in regards to the harsh reality of revenge porn.
Just cause you’re “in love” doesn’t mean it’s smart!
Working with teenagers is the best but it comes with it a heart breaking side too. There have been numerous times where I’ve had to work through situations which involve revenge porn, harsh rumours and moments of betrayal. Teenagers would sit in my office and the story is usually pretty similar, “I loved them, he/she asked for photos, I sent them because it was a serious relationship and I trusted them. Things weren’t going that well, we broke up and now the whole school has seen the pictures because he/she shared them with their friends.” An all to often story, which breaks your heart to hear.
Friend could I encourage you that even though you feel in love and may really believe it’s a long term relationship, it’s not smart to be sending explicit photos of yourself. Your friends may be doing it and you may not think it’s a big deal in the moment but it can have long term repercussions. I’ve seen it all to many times where a moment of passion turns into a lengthy time of pain.
The birds maybe be whistling, the sun shining and everything feels perfect. It may feel like your relationship is a match made in heaven. So sending pictures isn’t a big deal because you two are soul mates. But what happens when the birds stop whistling, the sun disappears and everything isn’t perfect? Unfortunately that day does come for every relationship and the pressure reveals what kind of relationship it is. Will it break or go the distance?
Show wisdom in how you carry yourself. You may desire to send the picture to take the relationship to another level of depth but you need to understand there are other ways to make the relationship deeper. Grow in friendship, go on adventures together and keep building a strong relationship. You don’t need to send nude photos to have a serious relationship.
“ You don’t need to send nude photos to have a serious relationship.”
Not sending the pictures protects you, ensures that your reputation can’t be hurt and ensures there won’t be long term pain from revenge porn taking place. I can’t emphasis enough that you are not the exception, you may feel like the person you are sending/sent pictures to would never betray you but it happens far to often. So be smart and don’t even allow that to be an option.
Just because there is pressure doesn’t mean you have too.
“He/she said they’d break up with me if I didn’t send them pictures of myself.” This statement is a sad reality. It breaks my heart to think of all the young people who have felt pressured into doing something they didn’t want to do. So I hope that I could encourage people to understand that even though you feel strongly pressured to send the pictures, you don’t have too!
If someone is pressuring you to click send, don’t! You may not want to hear it but I’d encourage you to leave them also. You deserve so much better. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is pressuring you to do something you don’t want to do, that shows that they don’t really value you and are just trying to get something from you. Find someone who won’t pressure you, respects you as an individual and treats you like royalty.
Moments of pressure to conform to certain behaviours or actions will present themselves all throughout life and if you receive pressure to send pictures it's important you stand strong in your convictions. Make an effort to chat this through with a pastor/mentor in your life and get advice on how to handle the situation. It's important for you to understand that the pressure you are receiving is a very low act and you deserve so much more.
There is much more that could be written on this topic and I will write more on this topic in the future as it's a very real issue that young people are facing today. But in conclusion of this blog it's important to seek wisdom on how to handle this, get wiser people to speak into your life and be encouraged to stand strong in your convictions.
HERE IS A QUESTION FOR YOU, I'd love you to comment your answer below.
What is a practical step forward to seeing revenge porn eradicated?
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